Outside

I just got done watching the fifth episode of the Foo Fighters' Sonic Highways show. They were in LA and the surrounding desert and it stirred up my semi-dormant escapism fantasies of running away into the wilderness to escape the life that I want... I'm a mess of contradictions.

Anyway, it struck me how much of a gateway band Foo Fighters have been for me. Now, I'm nowhere near as obsessed as I was in my late teens and early twenties with Dave and Co. But they opened a lot of doors for me, the first really being Nirvana which in turn lead to discovering other bands and the development of my tastes. Same deal with films, actors and directors. I'm always looking back to look forward.

I'm overly nostalgic and indulge in my fair share of Golden Age Syndrome sighing, but it never feels particularly negative or inhibiting to me. I enjoy looking back to move forward. Rediscovering an old feeling or moment and striving, not to recreate it or go back to it, but create new moments and feelings that mean just as much.

So I sat there and watched that show. And I saw people looking back at the history of a place and the people in that place and creating something new from nostalgia.

I don't know, maybe you had to be there but I found it poignant.

I think that's likely how I'll spend the rest of my life.

Looking back, moving forward.

Circles.

There's a Jim Carroll quote I really like: "If you haven't died by an age thought predetermined through the timing of your abuses and excesses, then what else is there to do but start another diary?" Last night at about two minutes to midnight, I wrote a blog post to coincide with the tenth anniversary of my beginning a blog in 2005, which I mostly kept in my early to mid twenties. And you can tell. Now that blog is retired I'm starting a new one. Here it is. Let's watch the mutation.